dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
