I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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