I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
