I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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