im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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