After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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