the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
