Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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