i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
