Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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