from now on my penis is your penis
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
