if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
