So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
