all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
