I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
