she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
