Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
