girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
