Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
