She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
