Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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