No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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