Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
