Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Randomize
