Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
