you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
