At least make sure they are 18
Why
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
