I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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