Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
