Tell her she can't have a vagina
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
