if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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