I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
third nipple confirmed
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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