you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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