Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
