Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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