I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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