Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
All I want is dick and wine.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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