You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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