this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
