I want to have your abortion
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just want nice things and good sex
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
