You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
