I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
