is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
