This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
