Have you finally orgasmed yet?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
