Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
