I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
