Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
