you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
