She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
