then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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