i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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