Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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