do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
